Updated January 22, 2019
What ever your place in life is right now–whether you’re single without kids, a stay at home parent, or a dual income household; life can be lovely and it can also be extremely challenging. For me, being a working mom is the most amazing thing, but sometimes when life gets in the way, it could be too overwhelming.
Whenever I reach the brink of a meltdown, I always think back to the first few days and months of my little preemie’s life. She was born at 26 weeks, weighing 1 pound 7 ounces. Her start in life was extremely challenging and many people admired her fight to survive. The odds were stacked against her. Amazingly, as the days turned to weeks and months, and she was growing in front of my eyes, I began to have the sense that she doing better than surviving–she was thriving! So, for the last 4 years since her birth, whenever I find myself in the middle of everyday life chaos, those preemie moments always manage to help me regain my center.
My daughter’s will to live was a prescription for how to live life to the fullest! She changed my perspective about life, and as a working mom, I am more confident about my ability to manage anything and everything.
Here are the four life lessons from a micro-preemie:
- Dream Big. Doubt the doubt, embrace the wonder, and believe the sky is the limit. Even when the going was really tough for my daughter, she made me disregard the grim statistics. What initially seemed impossible, became improbable, and then her survival became inevitable.
- Be present. Being present made the ordinary world become more interesting and wonderful. Things that most often seem common, routine and boring became fascinating and something to appreciate. Instead of worrying about or retreating from chaos, I’ve learned to own the present moment and embrace its beauty. Instead of focusing on all of the tubes and machines, being mindful of the present moment helped me to focus on her beauty—she had blonde highlights, her velvety soft pink skin, and her long fingers that she inherited from me.
- Have gratitude. Be thankful for everything big and small! I am thankful for my daughter’s life. It is because of her that I’ve come to discover my true strengths. I don’t take for granted the love and devotion of family and friends. I am especially thankful for the dedication of her medical team who spent day and night to care for her as if she was their own.
- Do self-reflection. Self-reflection can shift your mindset, increase positivity in your life, and discover a greater connection to yourself. By examining my own thoughts and feelings I realized that I can’t change the past, so why allow the guilt I had about my body failing my baby (due to severe pre-eclampsia) to consume me? I released it, and now I have a renewed sense of self—I am no longer a passive participant in life; instead, with each experience (positive or negative), I’m finding personal growth.
Overall, my preemie taught me how to slow down and pause. With the principles of gratitude, introspection, mindfulness, and believing in miracles, harmony emerges. Going at our own pace, learning to recognize our limitations, appreciating our progress, we weave the lessons into the fabric of our daily moments and what emerges is a tapestry of a beautiful life. When we finally understand this, we can balance demands with pleasures, work with play, activity with rest, and personal life with career.
Check out my Facebook video post: www.facebook.com/thrivingmamamdblog/videos/1951278285129623/
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Ann Stewart says
Thank you. This is well written, candid, and inspirational!!!!! Keep up the blog!
Ann Stewart says
Very nice advice and words to start my day with thank you!
Candice says
My son was born at 26 weeks, 1lb 7oz. You are spot on with your suggestions and inspiration. May God bless you and your family.
Carina Hopen MD says
Candice,
Thank you. We are very blessed. As you certainly know, having a baby born 14 weeks too early is terrifying. However, the experience and my faith taught me to take things a step at a time, breathe, and appreciate every moment.