Updated February 8, 2019
After reading several posts in this series, I hope by now you’re cruising along working on those positive thoughts and becoming a more positive and creative person overall. But just remember though, no matter how hard you work on personal development, positive thinking, and brainstorming creative solutions for problems or roadblocks, there will be a time when things simply don’t work out. Life isn’t all roses and sunshine, and we all will encounter setbacks or critics at some point. How we deal with them is what sets us apart.
Dealing with Setbacks
Forgive Yourself and Take a Break
When you are dealing with a setback, it’s important to forgive yourself. We’re all human and we make mistakes. We make the wrong choices. We don’t get as much done as we’d like. We miss our goals. It happens. Don’t let a small setback wipe out all the hard work you’ve done towards positive thinking. Don’t start beating yourself up. A perfect example I witness all the time in my clinical practice is the sense of failure my patients will feel when they slip up on their weight loss diet. They get so hung up on that single event when they over ate and it triggers them to revert back to unhealthy habits. We all need to own the setback, forgive ourselves, and then move on.
If you have a hard time with forgiveness, just give yourself a break. Things happen and often they are out of your control. Another good way to look at it is to imagine if this had happened to someone you love. Would you forgive them? Then why aren’t you being just as kind to yourself?
Figure Out What Went Wrong
Next, it’s a good idea to give some thought to what went wrong. If you take the time to review and retrace your steps and figure out what happened, there’s a lot to be learned. Isn’t that a much more positive way to deal with mistakes and setbacks than giving up? I think so too.
Take the time to figure out what didn’t go right so you can do better next time. While you may not have an obvious answer every single time, I’m sure you can learn something from the experience. That in itself is a positive action. Of course, even when you do figure out what went wrong, there’s no guarantee you’ll get it right the next time. But if you never try again, you won’t know.
Come Back Better Than Ever
When you know what went wrong, it’s easy to avoid making the same mistake again. Figure out what went wrong, put on your creative thinking cap to come up with a better solution, and try again. And again, and again. The point is don’t let setbacks stop you from reaching your goals. Don’t give up. Stay positive, get creative, and keep going until you make it work. That’s what sets truly successful people apart from everyone else.
Dealing with External Critics
It Isn’t About You
External critics are all around us, and they love to bring us down. It can be a bit of a challenge to keep up your positive thinking and good attitude when someone else is actively trying to tear you down. The most important thing you need to realize when you encounter these critics is that more often than not, it isn’t really about you. It’s more about them, their insecurities, and their resistance to change.
Positive thinking is a good change and a big improvement to you, but it’s a problem for them. By watching you make those changes and share your positive thoughts and energy, you’re simply making them look bad. When comparing themselves to you, they fall short. It’s easier to lash out and criticize you, than to step up and embrace positivity for themselves. The easy way out is to stop you. But you’re not going to let that happen, are you?
The first step is to realize and remind yourself of the fact that this isn’t about you as much as it is about them. For example, if you’re taking steps to change the culture of your workplace and make it an environment that fosters positive and creative thinking, you may be met with some resistance. You may find people on your team or even above you, resist and even ridicule the idea. Remember that it’s about resisting change on their part and not really about you.
Keep Doing What You’re Doing
Don’t empower these critics. Don’t let what they say bother you. Keep doing your thing and prove to them through actions and results that they are wrong. Don’t get into arguments. Nod, smile, and keep doing what you’re doing. Tip the scales back in your favor and feel good about what you’re doing by getting support. Find a cheerleader that you can turn to for encouragement and advice on those days when it’s hard to tune out the critics. Grab your journal and prove to yourself how far you’ve come and how much you’ve changed for the better. Do whatever you need to do to get over the harsh words, and get back to what you were doing.
Limit Your Exposure
In the worst-case scenario, it may be time to cut your worst critics out of your life. It isn’t always possible; it isn’t easy, but sometimes, it’s your best option. You may not be able to completely cut out your co-worker or a fellow department head, but you can limit your contact with them and do what you can to stay out of their toxic circle of influence.
Call to Action: A big part of positive thinking is taking ownership of your thoughts and actions. Don’t give that away. Keep control and don’t let those negative people bring you down. It does get easier with practice.
Subscribe to my newsletter and receive your FREE 13-page Self-Care Starter Kit. If you need a boost of motivation or inspiration, follow me on Facebook or Instagram to catch my daily quote.
Leave a Reply